Its 3 more days till a brand new year :
and some how i dont feel excited or any different or relieved that another year has gone by or even sad that another year has gone by.. i feel pretty down at the moment...
Merry Christmas btw
i know ive got like many people around me and im so happy ive got them and i appreciate everyone being in my life as everyone has made my life that much more exciting and worth living yet i feel so alone.
my boyfriend my darling i know your always here for me in every emotion i go through and i really thank you for it but at the same time i just dont want to put so much stress on you just cuz of me and my own problems ... now your out and im glad your out but i dont wanna keep running to you just cuz i feel like this ... because i dont even know what i feel when anyone asks me whats wrong?
i dont know what to feel
i should have my girlfriends to turn to right?
but where are they?
i know ive changed
i know my lifes very different now
but im going through another phase of changing..
its the best thing to do..i guess
i know this may sound weird or something but:
i miss my mother
a lot
in fact i dont even feel like she is my mother anymore - we have no connection and i have dissapointed her.. and although i live with my dad i really dont feel like we know each other anymore.. he dosent understand me i dont understand him and everything is just so apart..
whats a family anyway?
i knoww its random to blog about it but i literally feel like a dot
what is 2009 going to bring me now?
another lifetime-of drama?
anyway just wanted to type some feelings out...
and just wanted to let y'all know that:
i miss you guys